Query Critique Day: The Labyrinth of Middle Realm

♥ Time for some community feedback! ♥

Jo Hart was the lucky first “winner” from March’s Query Day, and so her shiny, revised query is now ready for some group feedback!

As always, be HELPFUL, be gentle, and leave your comments below.


THE LABYRINTH OF MIDDLE REALM is a 62,000 word young adult fantasy.

While trying to choose a fantasy novel from her bookshelf one day during the summer holidays, fourteen-year-old Katie is thrust into a realm just like the fantasy worlds of the novels she loves. She soon realises there’s nothing magical about hiking through thick forests without food, battling dark beasts with a taste for human flesh or facing off against soldiers of a tyrannical sorceress (with a weapon she barely knows how to use). In fact, it’s downright scary.

When she finds out she has been called to Middle Realm by angels to help save those oppressed by the sorceress, Katie is sure some mistake has been made. She is definitely NOT saviour material. Torn between wanting to help and wanting to go home, she seeks the reclusive wizard of Middle Realm—the only person who can either unlock the powers needed to fight the sorceress or send her home again.

However, for Katie to reach the wizard, she learns she must first brave the labyrinth—a maze where dragon-like creatures wait to attack, strange mists create feelings of despair and even the plants want to kill her. With the fate of those oppressed by the sorceress resting in her hands and her desire to go home driving her, Katie must survive the labyrinth long enough to fulfill a destiny she isn’t even sure she wants to fulfill.

I have two short stories due for publication this year: ‘Angel Blood’ (The Australian Literature Anthology, April 2011) and ‘A Penny for a Wish’ (100 Stories for Queensland Anthology, March 2011). As part of my Bachelor of Education, I studied a major in Writing. I am an active participant in writing critique groups and blog regularly on the craft of writing.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Jo Hart


Let Jo know what you think of her query letter in the comments, please!  And please look out for one more community post later this month.  If you’re interested in partaking in Query Day, then get ready.  Submissions will go live April 4.