NaNo Excerpt
So…I thought I’d do something SO OUT OF CHARACTER that (if I were reading about myself in a novel) I’d declare the protagonist inconsistent and throw the book across the room.
Yes, after seeing this amazingly inspirational post by Sara Zarr, I thought I’d…
::gulp::
…share an unrevised excerpt from my NaNo WIP.
Why? Because I don’t want to be afraid of all the FAIL that goes into creating the eventual WIN, and I don’t want you all to be afraid either.
You may recall I’m working on two books right now, hoping for a combined word count of 50K at the end, and I thought I’d drop in an excerpt from my secondary WIP (the badly titled Purely Platonic).
It’s a YA contemporary–something I enjoy reading but have never written before.
It’s also in present tense–something I enjoy reading but usually suck at writing.
It’s also in A FIRST DRAFT state–something I would never, ever, under any circumstance share with anyone…yet here I am, sharing it with you.
Basically, this is just on REALLY BIG life lesson for me as I try to learn to let go of my fears and perfectionism.
The story:
80s-music-obsessed Freddie and comic-book-geek Simon have been BFFs since…well, forever. Freddie has always gotten Simon’s intense way of viewing the world, and in return, he’s understood her obsessive organizing (even the stupid label maker she insists on always carrying).
Sure, Freddie and Simon are always together, but it is 100%, purely platonic.
Until Simon spends the summer in France, that is. When he comes back with a new wardrobe, hairstyle, and confidence, Freddie’s left scratching her head and wondering why it all sucks so much. Why should she care if he’s dating the most popular girl in school? If maybe she has this new, uncontrollable urge to kiss him? He’s still just Simon—100%, purely platonic, right?
Except that he’s drifting further and further away from her…
Now, if Freddie doesn’t start looking beyond the labels she wraps herself in, she’ll lose not only her best friend, but the guy she might just be in love with.
Okay, my hands are shaking…but LET’S DO THIS.
~~~~
To: Simon Girard (watchman87@gehoo.com) July 17 11:51:08 AM
From: Frederica Geller (freddie-g@ymail.com)
Subject: AAAAAAAHHH!!!!
SIMON!
TODD AND LARA BROKE UP! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! Apparently she met some new guy over summer break, and she DUMPED HIM.
Dumped Todd, not the new guy. I don’t care about the new guy.
!!!!!! GAAAAH!!!!
Wish you were here to scream with me. Not that you ever do any sort of screaming…but you could watch me scream and tell me to calm down. BECAUSE RIGHT NOW I HAVE NO ONE TO TELL ME TO CALM DOWN, SIMON. Dharma is screaming with me, and at this rate, our vocal chords will be rendered useless in t-minus twenty minutes.
I am SO going to talk to Todd in homeroom on the first day of school. JUST WATCH. This year, it’s gonna happen.
Miss you! AND WRITE BACK, DAMMIT!
-Freddie
CHAPTER ONE
If I had to name five things in this world that I couldn’t live without—like, literally, my life would stop functioning if they were to suddenly vanish—the list would look something like this:
- Chapstick (preferably mint-flavored)
- My mom
- 80s music (of the angst-filled pop variety)
- Coffee (black)
- Simon Girard (my best friend for six years)
If I could have a number six, it’d be Todd Friedman, but I’d have to specify “staring at Todd Friedman in class”. I mean, since I’ve never actually had Todd IN my life, then I know I’m perfectly capable of living withOUT him.
The other five, though? Life as I know it would end.
And yes, I realize how cheesy it is to have my mom on the list, aside from the fact that she birthed me, she also keeps me fed, listens when I need it, and is all around pretty cool—as far as moms go.
I totally get that not everyone is blessed with an easy-going, space-providing, non-judgmental mom. And normally, I totally appreciate having her in my life (I mean, she’s on the list, right?), but at this exact moment in time, I pretty much want to glue her mouth shut and lock her in a basement.
“It’s just one night,” she pleads, dropping onto a stool at the coffee bar, where I work. “You get a little gussied up, recite some lines, and then you’re done.”
“A little gussied up?” I yank a wet rag off the dark wood counter. “Going to prom is ‘gussying up’, Mom. Attending a wedding is ‘gussying up’. Putting on a fishnets, hooker boots, and a pink wig could even be qualified as ‘gussying up’, but I don’t think anyone in the history of the universe has ever considered dressing as a lumberjack’s wife and heaving an ax ‘gussying up’.”
“You don’t have to heave an ax,” she mutters. “That’s optional. But fine.” She slaps her hands on the counter. “Be an ungrateful daughter. Clearly you are too good for your dear old mom, and Steve and I will just have to start making babies to—”
“Ew.”
“—compensate for your stubbornness.” She flashes her eyebrows and waits for me to cave as I always do.
But I am not caving this time. I am not going to humiliate myself in front the entire town by dressing up in 18th century frontier clothes, singing traditional logging tunes, and pretending to be a lumberjack’s wife.
And by “pretend” I mean holding hands, sharing whispered words of support, and putting on a real convincing show for all the tourists.
And the high school—did I mention the high school? Yeah, every student at Haver High comes to the pageant before the big fundraising lumberjack ball so they can laugh uproariously and swig the whiskey they stole from their dads’ liquor cabinets.
Yeah, if I agree to this, then I can just go ahead and whip out my label maker, print out a big sticker that says “SINGLE FOR LIFE”, and plaster it on my forehead.
“You can partner with Jonathon,” Mom says, interrupting my images of life-long shame.
I rub at a black stain on the counter—a stain I know won’t budge—and refuse to meet her eyes.
“He’s only a few years older than you,” she adds. “And he’s pretty cute.”
“Cute?” My nostrils flare. “Mom, he thinks ‘salvicate’ is a word.”
She winces. “It’s almost a word. Salivate, salvicate—to-may-to, to-mah-to.”
“Don’t make excuses.” I stop scrubbing. “Even if he were using the right word, that wouldn’t change the fact that he discusses his salivary glands with far more regularity than is generally considered acceptable.”
“What if I could find you a good lumberjack partner? Like Simon—what if he agreed to do it?”
“Simon would never agree to do it, Mom.”
“I bet he would. When does get back from France? I’ll call him up and invite him.”
“I dunno when he gets back.” I fling the rag back on the counter and stalk to the coffee grinder. “But I can promise you he won’t agree. We’re already big enough losers. We don’t need the added stigma of tree-chopping and flannel, thanks.”
“He’d do it if you asked him.”
“And I would never ask him.” I grab the bag of Brazil yellow bourbon beans from the shelf.
“Fine. What if your partner was Todd Friedman?”
“Todd Friedman?” I spin around and fix my eyes on Mom. “Are you serious? Why would the local god of all things hot and appealing in this world ever agree to be in the Lumberjack Pageant?”
“You never know. You could always ask him—“
“Oh my gosh, listen to you. As if I would ever have the guts to ask him to do anything.”
“Well, he’s a broken-hearted bachelor now,” Mom says, her voice taking on extra coating of syrup. “Maybe logging songs and axes are exactly what he needs.”
Groaning, I twist back around and pour half the bag of beans in the grinder. “We are done talking about this. Tell Steve the answer is ‘no’, just like it was last year and the year before that.”
She scowls. “Fine. But I’m not feeding, clothing, or providing for you anymore.”
“Then I’ll call Mrs. Engle at social services.”
She grins triumphantly. “And you know what she’ll say? She’ll say you’re crazy because she’s doing the Lumberjack Pageant.”
I stick out my tongue.
Mom sticks out hers. Then she twirls around, and heads for the door, calling, “Dinner’s at eight, Freddie! I’ll be sure to leave the light on so you can watch us eat from the street.”
I snort and wait for the telltale “ding” that means Mom has abandoned ship before switching the grinder on and reveling in the churning crunch of perfectly roasted coffee beans.
I inhale deeply. After two summers of working at Stomping Grounds, I’ve grown dependent on that smell. Science may argue that the caffeine is just wreaking havoc on my nervous system, but for me, nothing soothes like freshly ground beans or a pot of hot coffee.
And chapstick. We can’t forget the chapstick.
Or the Pet Shop Boys at max volume.
Oh, and Simon…his dorky glasses and lazy half-smile—man, I can’t wait for him to get home. Dharma is sick of me gushing about the newly-single-broken-hearted Todd, and I’m sick of hearing about her latest crush (some tourist dude named Jeff, who uses way too much gel in his pseudo-surfer-blond hair.).
I’ve known Simon since the summer before seventh grade—since the day my Mom and I moved in next door to the Girards. Even after I met Dharma at drama camp and she became my best girlfriend, I still spent more time with Simon. And even after a Simon’s family moved to the outskirts of town (a whole, whopping ten minute walk away), I still spent almost every afternoon with him. In fact, this summer was the longest time I’d ever gone in my life without seeing his dark hair and even darker eyes.
Yep, it’s been almost three months, and now I’m ready for him to come home.
And you know what else? I hope he never bails for months—even weeks—at a time again. Ever again.
Because Simon Girard is #5 on the list, and I can’t live without him.
Katelyn Larson
November 16, 2011 @ 10:32 am
I too love a good contemporary YA, and I really love what you have here, Sooz. First draft or not, it read wonderfully, and I loved Freddie’s voice. And not gonna lie, I love this kind of storyline. I fall for it hook-line-and-sinker every time 🙂
Susan Dennard
November 16, 2011 @ 11:55 am
Aww, thanks, Katelyn. Now I feel like I was fishing for compliments or something, but honestly–I just want to conquer my perfectionism fears. They are holding me BACK.
And yes, I (obviously) love a good YA contemporary romance. Give me teenage angst and first love, and I am SET.
Laura Hughes
November 16, 2011 @ 11:35 am
This is awesome!! The premise hooked me right away….usually it’s the girl that moves away and gets all hot, and her nerdy boy best friend is left in the shadows. I love how in your book, it’s the boy that does all the initial changing!!! Also, I love your opening line/concept of the list. I’m still struggling like mad with how to open my chapter 1!
Susan Dennard
November 16, 2011 @ 11:56 am
Um, opening lines are the HARDEST. I have a feeling when I actually go back and revise that this might not stay… it’s hard to know at this point (since I’m still just hammering out the first draft).
And thanks for the sweet comments, mademoiselle. I am incredibly flattered you like it. <3
fena
November 16, 2011 @ 12:03 pm
HOLY MOLY HOW IS THAT “BAD”?! -splutters- i’m absolutely hooked onto your story now, which says a lot considering the fact that i generally don’t read stories like that. (and what’s this nonsense about present tense? i’m writing in it too, and mine’s a thousand times worse!)
in any case, here’s the excerpt i dumped into nano just for the heck of it:
-START EXCERPT-
He shrugs. “Long story short, some idiot somehow brought Ay back to life, and now he’s trying to-“”…wait.” I hold up a hand to stop him and he complies, although he shoots me an irked look. “Ay as in..?””The pharoah of Ancient Egypt, yes.”My brows shoot up. “Ay the Pharoah as in the one that killed King Tut and married his wife?”Another sigh. “Yes. That Ay.”I blink. “Charming.”Eros’s mouth quirks up at the edges, softening the hard planes of his face and making him look so much more approachable that I’m afraid to find out how he looks with a genuine smile on his face. “I know. And since his empire collapsed, he’s now trying to raise a legion of mutant cats to take over the world.””…cats?”He heaves a sigh. “Yes. They have poisonous claws. One swipe and you’re dead. Literally.”I wince. “Ouch.”He shrugs at that. “He wants to turn Earth into the Amazing Cat Planet of Ay. Probably thought that was the best way to go about it.”I can’t help it – I burst into peals of laughter. “The Amazing Cat Planet of Ay? Are you serious?”Eros’s face is absolutely solemn as he nods in reply. “Unfortunately.”Oh dear.I sober up quickly – because frankly, I abhor cats. They have a tendency to hiss at me and bare their teeth. Evil little creatures. The idea of having them rule the world I live in… well. “Where do you come in?”He shrugs. “To stop him, of course.””…you?””Yeah. And only me, I’m afraid – the lazy bums up there are busy drinking wine and waiting to watch ‘the final showdown’.” He rolls his eyes. “Apart from grandpa, the rest of them really couldn’t care less.””But- but…” I flounder, trying to thinking of a better way to phrase my sentence and giving up. “You’re the god of love and sexual desire!”He scowls. “Don’t remind me.””Then..?” Why didn’t Zeus send someone else, like Ares for example? Wouldn’t that make far more sense, considering the fact that it could turn into an apocalypse any time now?”I’msupozedtamakzeecatsfuarinlovewitheachotheranddistractay,” he mumbles, shuffling his feet in an uncharacteristic move.I blink. Again. “What?””The mutant cats… for the lack of a better word, malfunction and commit suicide when they fall in love so I’m supposed to make them fall in love with one another and ensure that Ay loses his army.” He explains awkwardly. “And since Mum is busy admiring her reflection and seducing innocent men…” He notices the amused look on my face for the first time and narrows his eyes in warning. “Don’t laugh.”…I laugh.”Shut up woman,” he mutters petulantly. “It’s not that funny.”I disagree, but I take pity on him and force myself to shut my mouth.”But how does that solve the entire problem in the long run?” I ask when I’m finally sobered up, confused. “Can’t Ay just breed more cats for every one that goes all I-Love-You-To-Death on us?””That’s exactly the problem.”My brows furrow in confusion. “Then how are you going to stop him?””The Osiris stone.””…huh?”He shrugs. “Zeus didn’t really explain – all I know is that the Osiris stone is supposed to send any reanimated Egyptian back to his grave. Or mummy case. Same thing. I’m not sure exactly how that works yet, though – I’ll figure it out as I go along.””And since Ay is Egyptian…””Yeah.””Oh.” A pause as I consider this – it seems simple enough. “Just how are we going to get the stone, then?”Eros grimaces in reply, fidgeting. “That’s the hard part.”…I just knew it couldn’t be as simple as it sounded.I can’t help being curious, though. “How?””Uhh…” He shuffles his feet. “Basically it involves a ship, the Mermaid Kingdom, and a quite a bit of begging from the Faerie Kingdom.”My eyebrows shoot up. “…great. What’s the catch?”His lips quirk in a humourless smile. “Let’s just say that Ay’s rather intent on getting his hands on the Key so he can unlock the stone and destroy it before I can use it against him.””What Key?”He points wordlessly at the peridot necklace resting on my chest.…oh.-END EXCERPT-WHAT WAS I DOING -.-fena
Susan Dennard
November 16, 2011 @ 12:06 pm
GAH, I LOVE IT! Eros is adorable. ADORABLE, I say!!
Thank you so much for sharing an excerpt! I’m so glad I decided to do this post just so I have more reading material. (I am a very selfish person, in case you didn’t know. ;))
fena
November 16, 2011 @ 12:42 pm
…he is? well. that’s a first aha.
and psh no problem – i’m glad you did as well, because i got to read YOURS. x)
Susan Dennard
November 16, 2011 @ 2:44 pm
Well, my mind instantly imagines hot, sexy god of love. Am I wrong to imagine him this way? 🙂 Then, when you say, ‘Eros’s mouth quirks up at the edges, softening the hard planes of his face and making him look so much more approachable that I’m afraid to find out how he looks with a genuine smile on his face’, I couldn’t help but imagine smokin’ hot god of love.
fena
November 16, 2011 @ 5:03 pm
I plead the fifth. *may* have had been reading Greek mythology stories on fictionpress when I cooked up the whole half-baked idea.
fena
November 16, 2011 @ 12:04 pm
…OOPS THE HTML GOT SCREWED UP. blasted thing. oh well. -staring at the nonsense i’d just posted and wanting to bang my head on a table-
Susan Dennard
November 16, 2011 @ 12:05 pm
And yet I just sat there and read it as fast as I could! It flows SO WELL, Fena!! Oh my gosh, I love it!! What’s the premise???
fena
November 16, 2011 @ 12:45 pm
aha nahhh not so much – when it comes to ridiculous dialogue i manage to scrape by, but the actual plot-building… not so much.
but um:
“All Latrina Vomere wanted to do was kill that pesky creature.
And then get on with her biology textbook and figure out just how the crap her ghost of a mother ever managed to conceive her.
And then read a little Latin, maybe find out why her father decided to name her after a toilet (as if that last name of hers wasn’t already enough!), and then stare at her peridot necklace for another while, perhaps.
After all, it *was* ridiculously mesmerizing.
And then that… insect just *had* to waltz so conceitedly into her life.
So now she’s stuck with an infuriating jackass, a miser of a guardian, and a crazy Egyptian pharaoh (who was supposed to be long dead, dammit!) that wants to turn Earth into The Amazing Cat Planet of Ay.
And that necklace of hers? It might just be the key to saving them all.”
i don’t know what i was thinking – but the title’s “Inane Verbiage” so i’m using that as an excuse. x)
Susan Dennard
November 16, 2011 @ 2:45 pm
Ha! I LOVE IT. Awesome premise. Even more awesome NAME. I literally LOLed when I read ‘maybe find out why her father decided to name her after a toilet’. Hahahaha, I hadn’t even put the Latrina=Latrine together. Hilarious.
fena
November 16, 2011 @ 5:08 pm
Ah, the NAME. Always wish I could learn Latin, and since I can’t do that, I’m dumping that on her. X) there’s a reason behind that… I think. WE’LL SEE. my plot has been doing wonky things so far, so I’ve given up on an actual plot line and take it as it goes, I guess. Right now they’re stuck with a gay merman, which I never did plan on. XD
Jessica Silva
November 16, 2011 @ 12:11 pm
so I never read contemporary because the voice is always whinewhinewhineprissygirl and besides the dark variety, the only contemp I’ve read & liked is ANNA and the FRENCH KISS. but first draft or not I’d keep reading this. I LIKE Freddie. I don’t like guys who don’t respond to my emails though. Simon’s got a lot to prove.
on another note, I totally understand your fear of sharing. quite frankly, I am, too. I’m fine with dumping first-drafts onto CPs for the most part, but the general population? HA. that’s way too scary. so serious applause 🙂
Susan Dennard
November 16, 2011 @ 12:17 pm
Yes, Simon has a lot to prove. He’s been a real ass, as Freddie is about to discover in the next chapter.
But her hands aren’t so clean either. 😉
And YES, this is sooooo scary. My gut wrenches EVERY TIME my email dings to tell me someone left a comment. I’m just waiting for the: “THIS IS CRAP. YOU SHOULD QUIT WRITING” comment. 🙂
But that’s why I tweeted about the excerpt….because–as I said in the tweet–if I’m gonna push my boundaries, I gotta PUSH. (I may have an ulcer after this, though.)
Also, thanks for saying you like Freddie and the excerpt. You’re a sweetheart. <3
fiona_li
November 16, 2011 @ 1:08 pm
You read my mind Sooz! I read Sara Zarr’s post as well and thought it would be great if an author would put up work for first draft. And you were courageous enough to do it!! Hooray!!
Your first draft is in ridiculously good shape, the character and voice is strong. Mine would be filled with mistakes.
Susan Dennard
November 16, 2011 @ 2:46 pm
Hooray!! 😀 Heck, if Brandon Sanderson can do it, then so can I!
And don’t doubt your first draft. I bet it’s WAY better than you think. 😉
Meredith
November 16, 2011 @ 3:20 pm
MORE! I want to read more! This is such a fun start, and you have a great contemporary voice. First draft schmirst draft* I think it’s awesome! 🙂
*That sounded better in my head.
Susan Dennard
November 16, 2011 @ 5:15 pm
Hahaha, I love you. That is all.
Arianna Sterling
November 16, 2011 @ 3:41 pm
Hey, I like it, don’t be so hard on yourself woman! Now I want to know what happens next. I’m really interested based on the description, and have a feeling that whenever I see more (-cough-) call me when you need a CP (-cough-) I will end up being a little bit furious with Simon. Just a sense I’m getting.
Freddie though, is awesome, and I would totally hang out with her for the love of the 80s.
Susan Dennard
November 16, 2011 @ 5:15 pm
HA! I will totally keep you as CP-material, mademoiselle. And WOOT to 80s pop music!!
Ladonna
November 16, 2011 @ 4:34 pm
It sounds like a fun story. I love the voice.
Susan Dennard
November 16, 2011 @ 5:16 pm
Thanks, Ladonna! It’s definitely not my usual writing fare…but I’m having so much fun with it!
mldbc98
November 16, 2011 @ 4:54 pm
Susan- Wow! That does not read like a first draft to me. My first drafts usually have the same “clever” word repeated every other sentence for three pages and have a lot of smiling, gasping, sheepish looks, etc. This is pretty polished already and I love the story and the dialogue between Freddie and her mom. Congrats on facing a fear and posting this.
Susan Dennard
November 16, 2011 @ 5:17 pm
You know, I’ve approached this first draft differently than my others. I’m going MUCH more slowly…rather than 1000 words in 20-30 minutes, I’m spending an hour or so on it. And I’m planning each scene out in a detail before I write. The book will still need a LOT of revising, but I’m curious to see if I need less in the end.
Anyway, I’m sure I just told you WAY more about my writing/NaNo experiment than you ever wanted to know. 😉
And yes, I have a LOT of gasps and smiles. I’m revising/writing ADS&L (sequel to SS&D) right now too, and…holy CROW. No creativity in my action tags…
Small Review
November 16, 2011 @ 5:07 pm
I don’t think that first draft is going to make any NaNo participants feel any better about their first drafts 😛 I’m hooked and I’d like some more, please! Love the voice.
Susan Dennard
November 16, 2011 @ 5:18 pm
Aww, I’m not trying to make people feel bad!! JEEZ, that’s the last thing I want. Because, as “smooth” as this might be (and that’s up for debate ;)), I’ll probably still RIP IT TO SHREDS when I start revising. 🙂
Small Review
November 20, 2011 @ 4:33 pm
haha, no, that was totally a compliment and nothing more 🙂
Csyusten
November 16, 2011 @ 5:39 pm
Wow, this is really great! Thank you for sharing. I especially enjoy how I feel like I know your character. She’s very real in my head. Great job and keep up the good work.
Susan Dennard
November 17, 2011 @ 12:27 am
Thank you so much!! Your comment means a lot to me–and gives me the motivation to keep pounding away at this. 😀
Sarah J. Maas
November 16, 2011 @ 8:17 pm
AHHHH! I LOVE it, Sooz!!!! I totally LOLed at the lumberjack’s wife stuff. Freddie’s voice comes across so clearly!!! SHARE MORE SOON, OKAY!?!?!
<3 <3 <3
Susan Dennard
November 17, 2011 @ 12:28 am
Perhaps I shall share more…especially if I’m at a loss for blog post topics. >:)
Petra
November 16, 2011 @ 8:54 pm
Great excerpt! You had me with the synopsis alone. I love idea of friends possibly being more and am already a fan of Freddie and her mother. I really hope to see this on your list of published works one day 🙂
Susan Dennard
November 17, 2011 @ 12:28 am
Thank you SO much, Petra! What a nice thing to say. 😀 And I too love the whole BFF-to-MORE story line. Gets me every time…
Erica Tripp
November 16, 2011 @ 9:29 pm
For a first draft, it’s pretty amazing! I’ve only read handful of contemporary YA, but I’ve enjoyed each one. I also have problems with perfectionism. It gets so bad that sometimes I’ll avoid Microsoft Word like the zombie plague. For days! So, I’m gonna follow your example.
Here’s my excerpt if you want to read it. 😀
http://ericatripp.wordpress.com/2011/11/17/getting-past-failure/
Susan Dennard
November 17, 2011 @ 12:29 am
Oh gosh, I know what you mean. I have had MAJOR issues with ADS&L–avoiding working on it because I’m so scared of how bad it is… But writing this book has helped me overcome my fears. Work in progress, I guess. 🙂
Kat Zhang
November 16, 2011 @ 11:16 pm
Love love the excerpt, Sooz!! I’m so exciting that we’re both YA contemp newbs working on stories at the same time. (And I’m tickled by how Simon was gone for about 3 months and the guy in my WIP was gone for about 3 years). IT WAS MEANT TO BE.
They’re like fraternal story twins! We’ll have to, like, raise them up together, and they’ll be besties as they grow older, and…
hehehe <3
Susan Dennard
November 17, 2011 @ 12:30 am
HAHAHA, I love you. Besties as they grow older…::sigh::
I want to read more of yours, though. FOR REALZ. Share more please…..
Kat Zhang
November 17, 2011 @ 1:56 am
It won’t be done in a while, lol, but once it is, you can CP mine if I can CP yours 😉 <3
Renate Seline Zaz
November 17, 2011 @ 7:44 am
Firstly, I love that her mom knows about her long-time crush and is trying to use it against her. Brilliant.
Secondly, this is a first draft? Was this supposed to make me feel better about the word vomit masquerading as my own first draft for NaNo? Cause, this rocks. The protagonist has a clear voice, she’s instantly likable and funny, it flows really well…honestly, after you blog post on crappy first drafts and re-writing (which was uber-inspirational, btw), I was kinda hoping that this might actually suck a little.
It doesn’t. Not even a tiny bit.
So if you’ll excuse me, I need to go bang my head against the desk and cry, because I just re-read the opening scene of my own NaNo, and it does suck. A lot.
Props for being brave and posting this, though! We all loved it!
Susan Dennard
November 17, 2011 @ 10:43 pm
Hahaha, word vomit.You should see my draft of the sequel to SOMETHING STRANGE AND DEADLY. If it weren’t giving away the story (and the big shocking twists for book 1),I’d show you…THAT has been word vomit.
Like I said in a comment above, I’m trying a different approach with PURELY PLATONIC–taking a lot more time for each sentence, planning where I’m going, and basically writing this differently than I normally write first drafts. So even I have to admit it’s cleaner than my usual fast first drafts.
Renate
November 18, 2011 @ 1:45 am
Which is funny, because that’s how I normally write–with painstaking care, rewriting my opening at least six times before moving forward, and this month I’m letting NaNo completely alter my approach: I’m flying through my first draft determined not to crack the pages of my thesaurus, disregarding the pages of ick I leave in my wake in the quest just *finish* the story! As a result, my draft is a mess. A stinky, hot mess. But I’ve never had such productive word count days!
(I’m just a little scared thinking about how much work it will take to clean this story up in the rewrite)
K. C. M.
November 17, 2011 @ 8:35 pm
Yeahno. I definitely agree with anyone who said this was NOT A FAIR excerpt of a first draft because of it’s awesome quotient.
I read contemporary YA maybeeee once every three or four years. BUT THIS is awesome. D http://www.gildedpage.wordpress.com
Susan Dennard
November 17, 2011 @ 10:44 pm
AWW, thanks. Seriously. But again–it’s not my usual first drafts.
And I LOVED EASY A!!! SO GOOD. And ::sigh:: I miss the glory days of teen movies…
Adriana
February 11, 2012 @ 7:21 pm
I had never seen this. HOW had I never seen this?! D: I’m so ashamed of myself. This is soooo good, though! And lovable and UGH. I need all your book in my life, Sooz.
All of them. Now. 😉