Query Critique Day: This Year Sucks

♥ Time for some community feedback! ♥

MaryAnn Kempher is the second lucky “winner” from May’s Query Day, and so her shiny, revised query is now ready for some group feedback!

As always, be HELPFUL, be gentle, and leave your comments below.


Dear Agent,

I believe my book and what you are currently looking for may be a perfect match because <insert reason why>. THIS YEAR SUCKS has 60,000 words and is romantic suspense.

If not for a sleepless night and an empty pantry, Katherine might never have seen a killer and his victim. She didn’t get a good look at him, but he doesn’t know that. Now she’s a hunted woman.

Katherine is an ordinary twenty-something still recovering from her soon-to-be ex-husband’s betrayal. She’ll do anything to avoid ever feeling again the pain he’s caused her. She decides a nice long break from men is in order, that is until she meets Scott O’Brian, now she’s not so sure.

After being in the wrong place at the wrong time, it seems like a strange coincidence that she’s suddenly become very popular with the opposite sex. There’s Michael, a man from her past who returns ready to sweep her off her feet; her building’s new maintenance man Jack, who’s an outrageous flirt and seems suspiciously around every corner she turns; and of course Scott, who she met in her writing class and who’s quickly becoming her best friend. All three men are deadly charming, but is one just deadly?

Now, in between near-death experiences that include ruthlessly being run off a mountain road and all but being pushed down a flight of stairs, she reluctantly realizes she’s fallen in love, but the love of her life just might be a killer. There’s more here at stake than Katherine’s heart, if she’s not careful, she’ll end up dead.

I’m an active member of Romance Writers of America, and you can learn more about me on my website, http://mkempher.com.

Thank you for your time and consideration.


Let MaryAnn know what you think of her query letter in the comments, please!

AND…if you’re interested in partaking in the next Query Day, then GET READY.  Submissions will go live on Monday, June 6 at 5:00 PM EDT, and submissions will close after I’ve received 10 queries.